Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Capsule hotel



Capsule hotels are great. You go in, leave your stuff in a locker, put on your complimentary jim-jams and sleep in what can only be described as a very comfortable morgue. AND because mine was men-only, nobody felt the need to talk to anybody else, meaning pointless small-talk was virtually non-existent. Fantastic!

Look! There's even a TV!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Mochi-pounding



So, the deal with mochi-pounding is, you pound a load of rice like a bastard until it turns into a very sticky mess. Then, you eat said gloop with a variety of different ingredients. All very delicious. However, it's not all fun and games - it can turn nasty at any moment. Like if, in the middle of the pounding frenzy, you accidentally hit the dude who's adding water to the mixture with your large wooden mallet. Mouri-san remains in a stable condition at the time of posting.

Japanese people are the best #31



So there I was, on the train, having a bit of a sit and a look out the window. Across from me sat a mild-mannered-looking gentleman, who appeared to be reading a teach-yourself-English textbook of some sort. As we approached my stop, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a large green object closing in on my head. Looking up, I saw that it was a plastic bag the aforementioned man had extended towards me. I looked inside and saw some onions and potatoes. His eager nods suggested that this was a gift for me. I graciously accepted and made my way off the train.

On an unrelated note, yes, that is a Winnie the Pooh table and, yes, it serves me well.

New shoes?


Friday, December 4, 2009

Sumo tournament in Fukuoka



So, I forgot my camera the day I went to this sumo tournament and had to use my phone. If you look VERY carefully, though, you can just about make out the actual sumo wrestlers in the ring. Sort of. This may be the worst photo ever taken. Anyway, sumo is very exciting altogether. You'll just have to trust me on that one.

Kyoto



Kyoto is a fascinating city rich in culture and history - it has no less than 17 UNESCO World Heritage sites would you believe?

It also has Womb.

(taking pictures of funny signs will never get old... NEVER I SAY!!!)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Staff room letters



Sometimes work is tough and you wish you were at home in bed. Then you get a letter from one of the old ladies you work with, inviting you to lunch at the weekend, and everything is alright again.

Especially noteworthy details here include the decorative use of highlighter and unfortunate misspelling of my name.

Miyajima



In addition to the aforementioned Itsukushima Shrine and all sorts of other exciting things, Miyajima has loads of deer just roaming around, having a laugh. Here is a picture on one licking itself. Great stuff altogether.

Itsukushima Shrine



on Miyajima is the most photographed shrine in all of Japan, or so I am led to believe.

So, um, here is another picture of it.

Hiroshima



Hiroshima is a very nice city, dare I say the nicest I have visited so far in Japan. Which, for a former site of nuclear holocaust, is good going. Nice one, Hiroshima.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Drinking in public



is legal in Japan. This works because, for the most part, Japanese people have the self-respect not to abuse this law and get wrecked down the back of the bus. Unlike me.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Bar Nudie



I was unable to determine whether or not Bar Nudie was, in fact, a, er, nudie bar. I hope it isn't though, because that would render my posting of this picture a most unsavoury act.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Shinkansen shenanigans



So, I got the shinkansen (that’s the bullet train to those of you who aren’t as amazing at understanding Japanese as me) on Monday. It was ace.

The picture quality above is, admittedly, poor, but if you look closely through the windows, you can see the very fabric of time bending.

Not having the internet

because your selfish bastard of a neighbour, whose internet you were stealing, decided to block you, because you were stealing his internet, is totally shit.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Costco



I am, of course, aware that Costco is not an exclusively Japanese phenomenon. But LOOK at the size of this jar of peanut butter. It’s like some sort of delicious peanut buttery, er… anvil. Or some other similarly-sized stump-shaped object. Like a tree stump perhaps.

Or a goblin-man.

There’s no escape, goblin-man, I’m going to eat you up on my toast. Like this: nyom nyom nyom.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

High school students



One of my students very thoughtfully drew me a picture the other day. Oh, those kids...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Miyazaki adventures



Beaches, mountains, sparklers, scotch, chicken nanban, ropes, hiking, log cabins, surfers, winding country roads, onsens, sprightly old people, coolers, convenience stores, portable stoves, crap toilets, giant spiders, camp fires, smores, carrots, peanut butter and jam sambos, creepy old men, helpful Canadians, sunrises, traffic jams, mosquitos, inquisitive children, tunnels, baby wipes.

Yup, silver week adventuring in Miyazaki can really take it out of you.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Taiko



How I have failed to mention taiko thus far, I do not know, but now is the time to right that wrong: taiko is deadly. Hitting big drums with large sticks is the most immensely satisfying post-work activity I have ever encountered. I joined a group in Kokura called Wai Wai about six weeks ago and have been going to practice regularly ever since. They're a pretty righteous crew and no doubt about it. They perform all sorts of different routines with bitchin counter-rhythms and amazing breakdowns and stuff and, and... it's just savage.

Above is Adam from Australia, who was good enough to pose for a photo. I think in this shot he managed to express the savage beauty that lies at the heart of this centuries-old art. Nice one, Adam!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Underground metal



One thing I've noticed about Japanese versions of Western pursuits is that they don't do things half-arsed. Case in point: last night's sampling of what Fukuoka's underground metal scene has to offer. Those mad bastards rocked the fuck out of it. Some of them even brought real animal hearts on stage so they could smear themselves in blood before they started their sets. You wouldn't see those pansies down in Fibbers doing that, oh no.

Even the toddlers are in on the game. I met this gentleman and his mother outside where every now and then, he would treat the assembled crowd to complex drumming improvisations. The time signature changes were so fast and downright controversial that, to the untrained philistine, it might have sounded like he was just slapping away on the pavement, having a laugh. Not to these finely tuned-ears, though. No, this boy will go far.

Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks



Yesterday, I went to see the SoftBank Hawks take on the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles in Fukuoka's Yahoo Dome. Now, I've always thought baseball was a bit of a crap sport and this game did little to change my mind. That said, the crowd was proper psyched and gave it socks even when the Hawks were getting their arses kicked.

More exciting than the fans, though, were these stickers that stewards handed out when you got into the stadium.

Sunset Live 2009



Sunset Live is a festival that's been going down every summer for nearly twenty years in Fukuoka. The great food, proximity to the beach, beautiful weather and eclectic line-up make for an excellent weekend.

All of that faded into the background, however, when I discovered the Marlboro stand at which you could make your own personalised packet of cigarettes.

I put lightning bolts on mine.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Enkai



The average enkai (Japanese office party) doesn't usually begin with a trip to a men's sauna. But for some reason my first one, which took place over the weekend, did. Oh well, I can't deny that there's something liberating about standing around naked with a load of lads. Sure, at the end of the day, we all have genitals. And if there's a better way to break the ice with a large group of male co-workers than getting bollock-naked in a room together and then lathering up at a row of sit-down showers before hitting the sauna, then I'll be damned.

After drying up, we moved on to dinner, where I made a speech (this particular event was in my honour as a new member of staff) and then got bleedin' mad wrecked. Such a state of intoxication provided the perfect mental state for me to attempt to speak Japanese and I like to think that I learned something from the experience. If only I could remember what exactly that was...

The drinking continued afterwards at a karaoke bar. I don't think I have to explain how amazing karaoke with a load of drunk Japanese high school teachers is. There was amorous serenading of nearby tables of middle-aged ladies, tying of work-ties around foreheads, tambourines, everything.

Man, I love Japan.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sports Day



When it comes to sports day, the Japanese don't mess around. There's military stylee marching, brass bands, that thing where people make pictures with different-coloured placards that you can only see from really far away (as above), cheerleading, human pyramids, human bridges, martial arts displays and also sports. Very exciting.

Sports day also means that students get most of the preceeding two weeks off to prepare and teachers get to sit around in the sun supervising activities/craftily snoozing under the cover of sunglasses. Fantastic.

Some take it a little too seriously, though, like that student who visibly wept when his team won the overall prize. That was a strange one alright. That said, it certainly beats the last sports day I was at when I was 14 and I tried hurdles and fell over lots and couldn't actually physically finish the race because I was too shit.

That kind of thing stays with you...

Sprite Zero



Many things are sexier than water: noticeboards, couches, ties, actual sex and now... Sprite Zero.

Get it into ye.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Kitakyushu Municipal Museum of Art



So, there I was, moseying around the Kitakyushu Municipal Museum of Art, in one of the more obscure corners of the gallery, when WHAT did I come across but a print of The Great Wave Off the Coast of Hanagawa. Y'know, that one.

I must say, it fulfilled all of my expectations about what a stereotypical Japanese art gallery should contain.

Then afterwards, when I was walking home (through the scary woods, as you can see above), I saw a snake and it was wriggling at me (with intent, no doubt).

I won't lie to you, I ran away.

But I live to appreciate art another day.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Nagasaki



Nagasaki is a very nice spot indeed. I recently dropped by to moderately tear shit up with a friend and good times were had. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to communicate the excitingness of the place when the only pictures I took were of war atrocity memorials. These are not exciting things. It was a short-sighted move. At least this picture is nice and colourful (but don't go getting excited about it, because these origami displays are meant to honour the dead, you bastard).

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Fireworks



You have to hand it to the Chinese, not only did they invent paper and Chinese food, but they were also the first ones on the ball with fireworks. Ten points! Then the Japanese got wind of what was going down and made them bigger, faster and more colouredy then ever. Possibly. Either way, I went to a fireworks display in the nearby town of Nogata last night. It was pretty cool alright, although my crap photos don't do the thing much justice.

The following day, a very lovely lady with whom I work informed me that she saw me there the previous night and then, with a wink, made a drinky-drinky gesture. Yes, that's right, I was drinking, however, that shit is legal in public in Japan, which is why it is such a great and powerful nation.

Perhaps public drinking deserves its own post.

Back to fireworks, though, for a second: fireworks are savage.

Space World



Space World in Kitakyushu is a pretty exciting place alright. It's a space-themed, er, theme park and there's rollercoasters and 3-D fillums and a space museum and machines that spray water at you as you walk by for no discernible reason and all sorts of shit - fantastic. It's also the home of that cute little panda feller you see up there in the title box. I went last week with a few friends and got so overexcited that, before I even got through the gates, I managed to buy myself a year pass. Oh my! Anyways, I would recommend dropping by should you just happen to find yourself in the vicinity; and, I dunno, maybe if you are going, I could come along too. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I have this year pass thing, so I can go whenever I like. For a whole year.

Yeah, Space World is the best.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Squat toilets



In a country as technologically advanced as Japan, one might expect the populace to have long ago cast squat toilets into the abyss of defunctness (yes, apparently that is a word) along with their malnourished Tamagotchi and mini-disc players. But no, it would seem that the affectionately named "squatty potties" are, in fact, all the rage. How exactly one uses such a device without messing themselves up real bad remains a mystery as old as time. Actually, there are probably tutorials on YouTube, but I don't care to watch them. No, squatty potties are against God and man and that's the end of it.

Incidentally, my workplace only features such receptacles in the men's toilets (they have nice, sit-down affairs in the ladies' staff toilet, but I've only been working there for two weeks and to be caught using the ladies' might have a significant impact on future working relationships). This is a most undesirable development indeed.

UPDATE: It has subsequently come to my knowledge (upon looking in a second cublicle) that the men's bathroom DOES in fact have a non-squat toilet. So I won't be shitting all over my own pants any time soon then (phew).

Smokes



Cigarettes are cheap in Japan (about €2.50 a packet - take that, life expectancy!). Also, the health warnings are in Japanese so they don't really count. There are many exciting brands you can enjoy here. I picked up some Seven Stars the other day - I don't think this particular variety would market very well at home. They come in a pack as opposed to a girly carton, which makes for a more satisfying smoking experience. Cigarettes can be purchased in many locations, including the approximately sixty bazillion vending machines that are dotted all over the country. But that's another post for another day...