Toilet paper tower

As you can see, my school takes toilet paper restocking very seriously indeed.

Cristal

My neighbours recently bought a bottle of Cristal. Because that's English-teachers-in-Japan life.

Kumamoto Castle

While in Kumamoto, we came across this adorable little fellow. And also Higomarukun, Kumamoto Castle's mascot.

Sekia Hills

And sticking with things that happened a million years ago, here is a pic from Kumamoto where I went for Halloween. We stayed at a hotel called Sekia Hills, which was apparently built by some sort of rich eccentric man who didn't realise that a hotel resort, complete with numerous high-end boutiques and artificial ski slope, probably wouldn't do great business in the middle of the countryside in southern Japan. The hotel is still open and parts of the shopping mall are available to rent (for such events as Halloween parties). This is a picture of the abandoned ski gondola system. Spooky...

Osaka Aquarium Halloween whale shark, y'all

Oh my, this is a bit old, but anyway... Here is a (plastic) whaleshark with a silly hat on - yus!

Jizzo

Jizzo: A great place to come with your friends and family!

(Too much? Yeah, that probably was alright, sorry...)

Puff a smoking

It would appear that dissuading people from smoking has largely been abandoned in Japan.

Bar Dick

We went in to Bar Dick, chuckling away to ourselves, only to discover that the tasteful interior and significant cover charge rendered it, in fact, too classy an establishment for us.

And so, it was cans from the convenience store again...

Take cake

Towards the end of our trip to Okinawa, we stayed at a very pleasant hostel called Sora House in Naha which had this sign outside. Sadly, upon enquiring at the reception desk, it became clear that there was no cake to be taken.

Habushu

Okinawa is also famous for habushu, a type of liquor that is infused with the unique taste of a poisonous snake (called a habu). You'll find it sold in many stores usually with the poor feller curled up dead at the bottom of the bottle.

Since I was there, I thought I'd give it a go and, well, it tasted pretty much exactly like I thought a drink with a dead snake in it would taste. Sorry, habu.

Okinawa

Whether you're a fan of scuba-diving, hiking, beautiful beaches or babies dressed in pig outfits, Okinawa has it all.

Nude beer

As I'm sure you can imagine, I was far too nervous to try Nude Beer, but I can only imagine it tastes like sexiness (perhaps not as much as Sprite Zero, though).

Bunkasai

Japanese schools love their bunkasai (culture festival) so they do. My school offers a special art course, so many of the students are very talented, as you can see from this slightly unsettling Alice in Wonderland picture some of them painted using the faces of teachers instead of characters from the movie.

Try to find me! Hint: I look (the most) like a sex offender.

New toilet!

Check it: it's my brand-new toilet! My old one was apparently leaking, so I got this one free of charge. Now, to be honest, I think the leak had more to do with the quite visible holes in the bathroom wall than anything else, but never look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever that means.

Look at it there, being all clean and shiny. Oh, the horror that awaits it... The horror...

Parliament

Here's Charlie Sheen, in a dispatch from somewhere in the mid-90s, proving that smoking is, as we long suspected, stylish and makes you attractive to women. Hooray!

Canal City

Canal City is a shopping centre in Fukuoka city. It boasts all manner of exciting shops and eateries including La Nail, Tony Moly and, who could forget, Labia!

Lotteria Cheese Tower Burger

I'll be the first to admit that I've eaten a lot of shitty food in my life. But nothing could have prepared me for Lotteria's Cheese Tower Burger. That's because it's got ten patties. Yes, that's right, TEN. I thought it'd be hilarious to give it a go but the burger was so big that I couldn't physically fit it into my mouth. So, I tried to eat the sides of it for a bit before giving up, putting it back down on the tray and watching it just sort of sloppily fall apart. Much like my sense of respect for my own body.

Sakurajima

The city of Kagoshima in southern Kyushu has its own active volcano, which goes by the name of Sakurajima. Although rather pretty, it's a little unsettling noticing large plumes of smoke emerge from it as you sit there eating your lunch.

Looking at this picture reminded me of that movie The Mask. Remember? Jim Carrey had that catchphrase "Smmokin'"? That movie was the worst. It disturbs me that this catchphrase has subconsciously stuck with me through the years to the point where it just pops into my head when I see something that is, indeed, smoking. Stupid The Mask...

Sorry, just popped down to the shops there for a bit...

So, it's been over 5 months since I've updated this blog. Needless to say, all kinds of very exciting things have happened to me during this period, including getting a new toilet, finding a brand of beer named "Nude Beer" and more! Read on, then, for other similarly scintillating tales...

One of the many reasons I have chosen to stay in Japan for another year

For the record, let it be known that I have never dressed up as Santa Claus and snuck into the room of a child. In Japan.

Shopping in Daimyo

When it comes to fashion, these cats clearly don't mess around.

"The Placenta"

I don't even know anymore.

Antiques Café

Finding good coffee is surprisingly difficult in Japan. I won't lie to you, again and again in times of weakness, I've turned to the lurid, ubiquitous, green glow of Starbucks.

Needless to say, then, I was overjoyed when my mate Lynn recently introduced me to this wee gem of a café in her town. Stepping inside, I felt as if I were returning to those long-lost days I spent as a boy, herding sheep and making fine cheese in the French countryside.

In addition to excellent coffee, there are all manner of delicious crepes, quiches and soups on offer at Antiques Café. There is also, unsurprisingly, a delightful antiques showroom attached.

Unfortunately, Lynn lives in Nagayo, Nagasaki - approximately 3.5 hours away by express train. So, it's back to Starbucks for the time being then.

A belated post on the Nagasaki Lantern Festival 2010

I've never been the biggest fan of lanterns, to be honest.

Furano

A few hours from Sapporo by train is the town of Furano, which is famous for its wine, apparently. Behold its bountiful vineyards.

Ishiya chocolate factory

Sapporo is also well-known for its secret James Bond villain headquarters, er, I mean chocolate factory. Nommers!

Yuki matsuri

Popped up to Hokkaido a few weeks ago to check out the very cool (pardon the pun - ooh!) snow festival that's thrown every year in Sapporo city. There were plenty of snow and ice structures better than the one above, but I think this pic best illustrates the apparent disregard young Japanese ladies have for even the most punishing cold. All in the name of fashion. A tip of my (well-insulated) cap to them.

Office adventures #14

All of my co-workers have just returned to the teachers' room, from a staff meeting (I didn't have to go), with brand new, metal shelves - on wheels. This is definitely a bit strange. Oh wait, no, now I have some. I'm not entirely sure why we're getting them, but there you go.

As amazing as new shelves are, there isn't actually anywhere to fit these new units. Except for under our desks. Where our legs are meant to go. Oh, Japan...

PS I didn't want to take a picture in the middle of the staff room because I can't disable the "camera sound" on my phone (a pervert-deterrant feature, presumably *rats*), so just use your imagination...

Okonomiyaki

Okonomiyaki is the shit. That is all.

Arashi

So, there we were, making our way through some subway station or other in Tokyo when, all of a sudden, we noticed a huge crowd of people taking pictures up ahead. On closer inspection, it became apparent that they were all women and they were taking a picture of this, er, giant ad. I can't claim to know all that much about Arashi (the boy band featured), but my friend assures me that they are very sexy. Which, from this saucy poster, you can, of course, see for yourself.

Maid cafés

Oh man, maid cafés are weird. Basically, the deal is, it's just like a regular café but all of the waitresses are young women dressed in over-the-top maid outfits and they buzz around, chatting and playing boardgames with you. Yup. I'm sure it says something profound about the Japanese psyche etc. etc. but I was more miffed at being charged a tenner for a cup of tea.

Happily, though, it's not just pervy men that go - about a third of customers are ladies. Although, that's still two thirds pervy men... Anyway, since we were in Akihabara, the home of the maid café, we thought we'd check one out.

On a sidenote, our waitress totally kicked our arses at Uno.